MADINAH: With an increased number of expatriates in Madinah, Saudi men ­— often already married — are resorting to marrying young expatriate women through nonstate-recognized nikahs/marriages known in Arabic as Al-Zawaj Al-Urufi.

“The number of expatriates in Madinah — those who are resident, legal or illegal — has far exceeded the number of Saudis here,” said a source at Madinah Municipality, who asked his name not be published.

“Some expatriates try to earn cash by marrying their daughters or sisters to Saudis. This has resulted in a remarkable increase in the number of such marriages,” he added.

Marriage registers — known in the Kingdom as “mazuns” — are accredited by the Saudi authorities and are not allowed to carry out marriages, especially those between Saudis and non-Saudis, without legal permits. Saudis wanting to marry non-Saudis must first obtain marriage permits from the Ministry of Interior, something that can take months to years to acquire.

There are, however, unregistered expatriate sheikhs who are ready to conduct the rites of an Islamic nikah. Such marriages are legal according to Islamic Law, but not acceptable under Saudi rules.

Kamal Muhammad, an IT teacher at a boys’ school in Madinah, said such marriages cost no more than SR10,000. “I learned about them from a friend who arranged an appointment for me with an expatriate man who was looking for a husband for his daughter,” he said.

“The father showed me three of his daughters and asked me to choose one. He made a condition that the dowry should be no less than SR7,000 and that I should stay with her at the same house,” he said.

He added that after agreeing to the condition he made his choice. “The father brought a sheikh who was of his own nationality to write the contract. I paid them SR5,000 and promised to give the remainder of the money later. We then underwent a wedding party that was attended by the bride’s mother and other close relatives. I never expected things to move so fast and to be married within a few minutes for such a small amount of money,” he said.

Kamal said his father-in-law also asked him to pay SR600 each month for his wife’s upkeep. “Of course I readily agreed. Where can you find such a young and beautiful wife?” he said.

He, however, divorced his wife after five months after he came to know such marriages were common trade among some foreigners. “She won’t lose any time and will remarry the next day,” he added.

Saudi businessman Ghazi said he has unofficially married and divorced a number of expatriate women. “My Saudi wife is the principal of a school; her work is her priority. I do not want to have a normal second marriage and all the responsibilities that come with it such as setting up another home and having children,” he said. “I want a woman who spoils me and makes me happy. So I’ve married five foreign ladies in this unofficial way. These marriages are cheap and nor do I need to rent a home. I just live with them at their own homes,” he said.

Ghazi said his five wives were of different nationalities. He added that the “best” was an African woman from Chad.

Khaled, a secondary school teacher, also agrees. “The common law marriage provides us with the opportunity to change. We can tie the knot with all kinds of women, old or young, white or black, without our Saudi wives and relatives finding out,” he said.

“The foreign wives will prefer to keep silent for fear of deportation because most of them are illegally staying in the Kingdom,” he said.

Fatima, an Afghan woman, said she underwent an unofficial marriage with a Saudi man who promised to make their marriage legal afterward. “He divorced me when he learned I was pregnant. My father had to beg him to come to hospital to name my baby boy after him. He did that but has disappeared since,” she said.

Fatima said her baby boy is now two and that she loves him dearly. “I was warned several times about marrying in such a way but I wouldn’t listen. I was tempted by money and my ex-husband’s promises to make the marriage legal afterward,” she said.

“I have become an example for many unmarried Afghan women who are now totally against such marriages,” she said.

A Saudi wife, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said she discovered her husband had married three women in such a way. “I became suspicious of his behavior. So I kept a close eye on him until I saw him one day entering a house, which was occupied by foreigners. When I confronted him, he confessed that he had secretly married,” she said.

“He said he resorted to them because he did not want to commit adultery. I forgave him because his marriages were only on paper; he had no children from them and did not rent a home for them,” she added.

According to marriage registers in the Kingdom, marriages with overstayers are illegal since overstayers are not recognized by law as living in the Kingdom.

Women who undergo nikahs with Saudi men without official recognition from the state usually lose their legal rights as wives in the eyes of the law. Women who are divorced cannot claim their rights — such as alimony — as their marriages are not legally registered in the Kingdom.

In a previous Arab News article, Mohammed Saeed Tayib, a legal consultant, said there are legal channels through which marriages conducted abroad can be legalized under Saudi law. He added there is little that can be done to legalize “unofficial” marriages conducted in the Kingdom.

DUBAI: A first of its kind book on sexual education written by an Emirati social worker has created heated debates in the online community in the UAE. Wedad Lootah, a counselor at the Dubai Family Court, wrote the 221-page book, “The Secrets of Sexual Congress Between Married Couples.”

The book hit the stores a month ago. Published at the author’s own expense, the book has seven chapters covering topics such as marriage in Islam, the fiqh of cohabitation, marriage and sex, nutrition and sex and solutions to sexual problems, as well as some real life stories.

The book’s opponents, mostly men, claim that the book’s topic is taboo and should not be publicly discussed. Some have even gone as far as to call Lootah an infidel and a sinner for writing about such a subject.

On the other hand, the book’s supporters say there is an urgent need for such educative literature. They point out that Arab societies are turning a blind eye to problems resulting from ignorance of sexual issues.

Lootah, who is no stranger to controversy, is unfazed by all the negativity the book has generated. A few years ago she caused a stir by calling for the introduction of sex education in UAE schools.

“I think a lot of people who have not even bothered to read the book are confusing matters. This book targets couples who plan to get married, not school children. Young people should be given education on these matters but the content should be appropriate for their ages,” she said.

Lootah, who wears a full hijab, said she referred Islamic sources for her book. “After I finished the draft, I showed it to scholars, including the mufti of Dubai who approved it,” she said.

Lootah, who has been working in the family courts for six years, said the book was inspired by her experiences at work.

In one of the divorce cases she was counseling, a man sought separation from his wife because she refused to give in to his whims.

Even though the man took care of his wife’s interests, she was adamant in her refusal saying such acts were demeaning to her status in society.

In another case, a woman who had been married for 35 years without ever enjoying sexual relationship with her husband was seeking divorce. “The poor woman did not know that she could gain pleasure from being intimate with her husband,” said Lootah.

“She was so angry and disgusted by her husband’s selfishness that she refused to live with him and filed for divorce,” she added.

According to Lootah, all these divorce cases and many others that reach the courts on a daily basis would not have been there if these couples were given proper sexual education.

MAKKAH: The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice and the Public Prosecution in Makkah are investigating the case of an Indonesian AIDS victim who was raped by 46 men, including one police officer, around a month ago.

The woman, a 38-year-old maid, was initially raped at a backstreet rest house by a police officer. The woman was picked up by the officer after running away from her sponsor in the Nuzhah district late at night one month ago, Al-Watan newspaper reported.

Forty-five other men then raped her over the course of the night and next day.

The woman was then left on an empty road where another police patrol found her and took her to the King Faisal Hospital in the Al-Shishsha district of the city.

Subsequently, medical investigations showed that the woman was suffering from AIDS. She is still recovering in hospital, the daily said.

Police raided the rest house and arrested a number of men who raped the woman.

One of the men then supplied police with the names of his friends who also raped the woman.

Al-Watan newspaper also quoted a medical source as saying the suspects would have to wait at least six months to confirm whether they have AIDS, as symptoms only appear six months after the virus enters one’s body.

The men have been released on bail while investigations continue.

SIHAT:
Scorned and more than just a little bit angry at a would-have-been brother in law, a young Saudi man in this Eastern Province city broke into the house of the woman he had proposed to and set fire to the young lady’s brother’s car. According to a report in yesterday’s Al-Jazirah daily, the man was angry when the woman’s brother expressed strong objection to the idea of marriage. The report didn’t say how the woman felt about the proposal, nor what happened to the young man after his alleged misdeed came to light.

Insulted husband ‘kicks’ wife out of his life

AHSA: As any Saudi will tell you, calling somebody a “homaar” (donkey) is almost as bad as saying something bad about a person’s mother. A local daily reported yesterday that a woman here learned the consequences of insulting her husband the hard way. According to the report, the wife called her husband who was late for picking her up from a friend’s place and asked him what was taking him so long. As she was hanging up, she turned to her friend and called her husband a donkey that she can manipulate easily. Unfortunately, her husband was still on the line when she said this. Moments later, she received a text message from her husband requesting her presence in court — divorce court.

JEDDAH: The evil eye is something that people in the Kingdom — like those of other cultures and religions — generally believe in. However, many people exaggerate its effects and often develop a psyche to continuously attribute their unhappiness and illnesses to the concept.

The evil eye, which is known in Arabic as “Ain,” comes into effect when someone is jealous of another person. As a result, the person affected will feel an adverse effect, such as some sort of material harm.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) indicated that the influence of the evil eye is a fact. Saying Masha Allah (as God wills) when someone sees something appealing is a way of protecting others from the evil eye. It is customary to say Masha Allah, or invoke God’s blessings on the object or person that is being admired. Reciting certain verses from the Qur’an is used to protect one’s self from the evil eye.

In certain cultures, people burn incense sticks, hang the evil eye symbol in their homes, burn garlic peels and carry out wiping rituals. However, Islam considers such actions baseless. Prayers and a clean forgiving heart are what Islam preaches. The Islamic faith teaches believers to look toward those who are above them when considering righteousness and piety, and look toward those below them when considering their material physical wellbeing.

However, some people go to the extreme by believing that the evil eye is behind every difficulty that comes to them. Some wealthy people refrain from spending because they are afraid the evil eye might adversely affect them.

One mother of three, who asked her name not be published, is convinced that the evil eye will harm her family if they spend too much money or show off their opulence.

Her son, who used to own a Porsche while studying in Canada, believed that the evil eye caused him to crash his car. When he first brought the car to Canada from Jeddah, his mother put black seeds into it to protect it. (Black seeds are said to be useful for healing and curing especially if blessed with verses from the Qur’an.)

The woman’s son attributed the crash to the removal of the black seeds when he got the car cleaned.

Maha Ibrahim, a 28-year-old university graduate, said that she and her friends once befriended a woman.

“My friends and I started to hang out with this woman. The first time she joined us was at my friend’s house. When she first walked into the house, she noticed my friend’s new eyeglasses and commented on how nice they were. After a while, she accidentally broke them by sitting on them,” said Ibrahim.

Ibrahim said the woman came to visit her after she gave birth to her first child. The woman commented on how she was breast-feeding her baby. Sometime later, her breasts became affected with a strange type of eczema.

“On another occasion we were all at my friend’s house and the woman commented how beautiful the house and carpets were. At that time a charcoal from a hubble-bubble fell onto the carpet. The resulting burn looked like an eye,” she said. “This was when we decided not to contact her again.”

Dr. Saad Al-Khateeb, a senior consultant psychiatrist at the Jeddah Psychiatric Hospital, said that although Islam recognizes the effects of evil eye as a fact, some people overly attribute all sickness to the concept.

“As a psychiatrist and a Muslim I do believe in the evil eye but some people go to extremes,” said Al-Khateeb.

“If someone is affected with the evil eye and then falls in the street and breaks his leg, should he go to a doctor or a religious man? The result of the evil eye needs to be cured medically,” he added.

Al-Khateeb said psychologists do not study the evil eye. “If someone was affected with it then he or she should see a specialist, for example a religious man who cures using the Qur’an and not a magician who uses black magic. As psychiatrists we try to cure the illness ... we try to convince the patient that he or she needs help,” he added.

Al-Khateeb pointed out that some people attribute certain chronic psychological illnesses whose causes are unclear to the evil eye. “I also believe that the media plays a role in making people believe that evil eye is behind everything, such as a soap about black magic and the evil eye aired on MBC in Ramadan. If someone is a believer he or she would never be affected,” he added.

----

Sheikh Saleh Al-Laheedan

JEDDAH: Sheikh Saleh Al-Laheedan, chairman of the Supreme Judiciary Council, has triggered an international controversy by stating that owners of satellite TV channels broadcasting obscene programs could face execution as per the law.

“Those calling for fitna (sedition and immorality) and those who are able to prevent it but don’t, it is permissible to kill them,” Al-Watan Arabic daily quoted Al-Laheedan as saying when asked about owners of satellite channels telecasting immoral programs during Ramadan.

“It is legitimate to kill those who encourage corruption in faith and action if their evil cannot be stopped by other penalties,” he said.

The head of the Kingdom’s judiciary also explained that a person could be killed not only for murdering another person but also for corrupting faith and morality.

He urged the owners of Arab channels not to use their media to broadcast immoral and un-Islamic programs, including those promoting black magic. They should rather work to protect Islam.

“I want to advise the owners of these channels, who broadcast programs containing indecency and vulgarity... and I warn them of the serious consequences,” he said. “What does the owner of these networks think, when he provides seduction, obscenity and vulgarity?”

Al-Laheedan’s statement, which he made while talking to “Noorun Aladdarb” program of Radio Qur’an, created a big row after it was aired on Arab TV channels and published in newspapers.

Owners of Arab channels have also expressed their concern over the statement.

Meanwhile, Al-Watan said it tried to contact Al-Laheedan several times to know the circumstances that led him to give the controversial statement but the paper claimed that it could not contact him.

During the holy month of Ramadan, when Muslims must fast from dawn to dusk, Arab satellite televisions broadcast lavish productions, including soap operas and mini-series, some with historical and religious themes.

A popular soap called “Noor” that was broadcast by MBC for several weeks preceding Ramadan had also invited wrath of grand mufti, Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Asheikh who branded the program “subversive” and “anti-Islamic.”

Al-Asheikh, who is the Kingdom’s highest religious authority, earlier this year, issued a fatwa against “Noor” and decreed that any channel broadcasting the series is “an enemy of God and his Prophet.”

“Noor” was a Turkish soap opera dubbed into Arabic with the story of a handsome man called Mohannad and his equally stunning wife “Noor” who wrestled to reconcile the conflicting pressures of traditional and modern worlds.

However, given his position as the country’s most senior judge, Sheikh Al-Laheedan’s views cannot be easily dismissed, said BBC Arab affairs analyst, Magdi Abdelhadi.

“Fighting hardline approach can be difficult when the country’s top judge calls for the beheading of those he views as immoral broadcasters,” the BBC said in a commentary.

have no words to say,should i cry or laugh anyway,RAMADAN KAREEM

THERE have been several cases reported recently of young girls, some as young as seven or eight, being married off by their parents to men in their 50s, 60s or even older. In some instances, parents are literally selling their daughters to older men purely for financial reasons —- to settle debts or to gain a substantial dowry for their own use.

The practice is repugnant. Young girls are being treated as potential sex slaves, commodities to be bought and sold at whim to satisfy the lusts of old men. It has to be stopped. The Grand Mufti has spoken against it and so too has the Saudi Human Rights Commission (HRC). Only this week, the head of the commission, Turki Al-Sudairi, called on the Saudi authorities to put an end to these marriages.

There are several issues at stake in what is incontestably a human rights violation. The first is the issue of consent. We are not talking about girls old enough to make a decision for themselves. We are taking about eight-, nine- and 10-year olds and girls even younger. The fact that most marriages here —- and in so many countries —- are arranged by parents is irrelevant; the bride still has to give her consent, a pivotal element for a valid Islamic marriage. Even at 18 and older, she invariably does give her consent, believing her parents have made the right choice for her. But that is the point: Girls in their late teens are fully aware of what they are doing. There is no way, however, that an eight-year-old girl can possibly understand what is happening. These are not arranged marriages; they are forced marriages —- contrary to Islam as well as to any sense of natural justice.

The second issue is money. It is quite clear that in many of these marriages, girls are being treated as objects, something to be bought and sold. As for parents keeping and using the dowry for themselves, this again raises the issue of consent. In Islam, the dowry must be given to the bride. It is illegal in Islam to take someone else’s property without their consent, be he or she a stranger or a son or daughter.

Lastly, there is also the matter of the girl’s needs. At eight or 12, she is still a child, far too young and immature to take on the role of wife, sexual partner and mother. Children need their childhood if they are to grow up into balanced human beings. Marrying such young girls to older men, especially men over 50, exposes them to both psychological and physical risk. It may well damage them, again both psychologically and physically, for the rest of their lives.

The HRC has already managed to prevent one wedding between a 10-year-old girl and a 70-year-old man. Clearly it will act in a similar way if it learns of other such planned unions. But that is not an acceptable state of affairs. Many others will happen — simply because the commission will not hear about them. They have to be made illegal, with penalties for the parents and the would-be husbands. In other parts of the world, men who marry prepubescent girls and parents who allow their young daughters to marry older men can end up in jail. The authorities here in the Kingdom need to act at once in order to protect young girls.

-source ArabNews.com-

Reuters
Published: August 21, 2008, 23:42

Mr Dalila's release raises hopes of an easing on the crackdown on dissidents

Syrian dissident Aref Dalila, who was jailed nearly seven years ago, has been freed by the Syrian authorities.

An economist, he was jailed in 2002 on charges of trying to corrupt the constitution, inciting armed rebellion and spreading false information.

Mr Dalila, 65, had been sentenced to 10 years; one report said he may have been freed through a presidential pardon.

He was said to be the last figure in jail from the Damascus Spring, a period of greater political openness in 2000.

The Spring followed the death of long-serving Syrian President Hafez al-Assad and the succession of his son, Bashar al-Assad.

Bashar al-Assad initially tolerated the discussion groups that were held in private homes, but a tough clampdown began in 2001.

Mr Dalila was jailed after calling for freedom of expression and abolishing government monopolies in the economy.

He told the BBC soon after his release that his views had not changed and that he would continue to voice them. He said his release was not conditional on any pledge of silence.

Failing health

"Aref Dalila was freed in line with a presidential pardon after having spent seven years in jail," National Organisation for Human Rights in Syria chief Ammar Qorabi told the AFP news agency.

In July, Mr Qorabi called on President Bashar al-Assad to grant an amnesty to Mr Dalila "because of a deterioration in his state of health and to turn a new page with the Syrian opposition".

Mohannad al-Husni, the head of the Syrian Human Rights Organisation, said he was optimistic the release of Mr Dalila could be a step towards more freedoms

Mr Dalila, who was a former dean of the Damascus University economics faculty in the late 1980s, was arrested in 2001 along with nine other opposition activists and jailed the following year for trying to "modify the constitution and denigrate the state".

The Syrian authorities continue to hold people for their political views.

Some critics of the government, including the prominent opposition leader and former MP Riad Seif, are still in custody.